


Who's on First

by SailorSol



Category: Power Rangers Samurai, The West Wing
Genre: Background Crossover, Comedy, Don't Talk To Strangers, Gen, Running Gags, Sarcasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-08 00:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1126258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorSol/pseuds/SailorSol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone is looking for Sam, but Sam has vanished and left an eight year old girl in his place who knows the importance of Stranger Danger. Even if these are White House staffers vetted by the Secret Service.</p><p>(No Power Rangers knowledge required.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who's on First

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wildforce71](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildforce71/gifts).



> Happy birthday, [wildforce71](http://archiveofourown.org/users/wildforce71/pseuds/wildforce71)! I hope it's filled with good food, good friends, and good presents! *throws confetti*

There was a girl sitting at Sam’s office. Not a woman—that probably wouldn’t have surprised Charlie—but a kid, maybe eight or nine years old. And she was reading a book. Deanna would have been trying to find games to play on the computer, or coloring, or something other than staring intently at the pages of what looked like the kind of book the president would enjoy—very old, and very boring.

“Uh,” Charlie said. The girl looked up at him. “Hi. My name’s Charlie. I’m looking for Sam?”

“He went to the cafeteria,” the girl replied, turning her attention back to her book.

Charlie didn’t think Sam would be stupid enough to leave someone alone in his office who shouldn’t be—and besides, she was just a kid—but now that he knew she was there, Charlie didn’t feel comfortable just leaving her. “So you’re, uh… friends with Sam?”

He winced even as he said the words out loud. The girl’s look showed Charlie she agreed with his own assessment of how stupid the question was. “He’s my cousin.”

“Hey Charlie, Sa—oh,” Donna said, walking up next to Charlie. “You’re not Sam.”

 _Thank you, Donna, for making me look less like an idiot_.

The girl sighed, marking her page before closing the book. “May I help you?”

“I was looking for Sam,” Donna said. “Josh needs him.”

“He went to the cafeteria,” Charlie supplied helpfully. 

“I’m Donna. What’s your name?” she asked, pushing past Charlie into Sam’s office to talk to the girl better.

“I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” the girl replied. Charlie choked on a laugh as Donna blanched.

“Sam, have you finished the McCormick report yet?” Toby asked. Typical, he wasn’t even looking up from the paper he was marking up as he walked in.

“Sam went to the cafeteria,” Donna said. The girl rolled her eyes and slouched in Sam’s chair.

“What?” Toby asked, finally looking up. He stared at the girl. “Who are you?”

“She’s not allowed to talk to strangers,” Charlie filled in. 

“Sam Seaborne, what the hell were you thinking!”

Charlie winced as CJ came stalking across the bullpen, waving a file in her hand as she did so. If Sam _had_ been in his office, he’d be slinking down to hide behind his desk right about now.

“You can’t just tell—oh!”

“He’s in the cafeteria,” Toby said, before CJ could even ask. “We don’t know who she is or why she’s in Sam’s office, and she won’t tell us, because apparently the fact that we’re all Sam’s friends, who all _work for the President of the United States_ and have been vetted by the Secret Service means that we’re not _trustworthy_ strangers.”

Charlie shrugged as CJ gave them all questioning looks. “I just came to warn Sam that the president is looking for him. Again.”

“So’s Josh,” Donna said. “Something about school lunches and cats? I stopped listening when Josh started ranting about instant mashed potatoes,” she added with an apologetic shrug.

CJ sighed. “He told Gillepsy at the _Daily Times_ that school lunches are worse than Chinese takeout, because at least with Chinese takeout, you know it’s the local stray cats.”

“Sounds like he’s been spending too much time with Josh again,” Donna said.

Charlie chuckled; that definitely sounded like something Sam would only say after a few hours in Josh’s presence. And speaking of the devil…

“What, there’s a party in Sam’s office and no one invites me?” Josh asked, walking up.

“He’s in the cafeteria,” CJ said, before Josh could even comment on the girl-who-was-not-Sam, who had gone back to reading her book and ignoring the fairly typical comedy routine of the White House staff.

The office was starting to get crowded; Donna was tucked against the wall in front of Sam’s desk, and CJ had moved around behind the desk while Toby had sat down on the couch in frustration. Charlie was still hovering just inside the door, so Josh slid past him to stand next to Donna. “CJ,” Josh started saying, but she cut him off.

“Yes, Josh, I already know what Sam said.” She pointed a finger at Toby. “You’re not off the hook on this one either, buddy. I know it was you who sent Gillepsy to Sam.”

Toby didn’t even look guilty.

“Do I pay you people to work, or to stand around gabbing?” Leo asked, coming from the direction of his office. “Don’t answer that, I already know. Joshua,” Leo said, and Charlie stepped in towards CJ. The desk would offer minimal protection from the Chief of Staff, but minimal was better than none, in Charlie’s book. “You know hiding in Sam’s office is the first place I’ll look for you.”

“He’s in the cafeteria,” Josh said, before Leo even made it to the doorway. Once Leo got there, he pursed his lips, surveying the room.

“And does anyone know when he plans on returning?” Leo asked.

Everyone looked towards the girl. She glanced up, realizing their attention was focused on her again. “He left fifteen minutes ago,” she said, then went back to ignoring them.

“Who is she?” Leo asked the room at large. No one answered. “Who are you?” Leo addressed her directly.

“Lauren!” Sam said, hurrying across the bullpen to his office, carrying a Styrofoam container from the cafeteria. He looked half panicked to see everyone in there, but the relief was clear when he saw the girl—Lauren, apparently—still sitting calmly at his desk.

“Is there something you’d like to share with the class, Sam?” Leo asked, crossing his arms. Sam’s eyes darted around the room as everyone waited expectantly.

“Uh. Leo. Hi. This is, uh, Lauren,” Sam said, gesturing to the girl.

“And what is she doing in your office?” Leo prompted.

“I couldn’t find a babysitter at the last minute,” Sam said, dropping the food on the desk in front of the girl. She opened the container and started picking at the salad. “I figured, since it was Saturday, I could just… let her hang out in my office while I worked.”

“Is this like the thing with your hooker?” Josh asked, tactless as always. Donna smacked him in the arm. Sam looked horrified.

“No! Lauren’s my cousin, she needed someplace to stay for a few days,” Sam said.

Charlie’s position gave him the best vantage point out the door of Sam’s office. He kept his lips pressed tightly together, trying desperately not to laugh, when he saw who was approaching next.

“Samuel.” The tone was paternal. And scolding.

Sam flinched; everyone else stood or straightened. Lauren was at least quick enough to follow their cues, standing as well.

“Mr. President,” Sam said, plastering on a smile as he spun to face President Bartlet.

“Samuel, Samuel, Samuel,” the president said, approaching the door. He looked casual in his jeans and Notre Dame sweatshirt, but the Secret Service agents flanking him were in their typical black suits. “Imagine my shock and dismay this morning, when I was woken by a very irate phone call from my wife. Do you know what she called to tell me, at six o’clock on this glorious Saturday?”

Charlie couldn’t see Sam’s expression any more, but he could guess he looked rather like a deer trapped in the headlights. “I can explain,” Sam said.

The president shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “Oh, this should be good.”

“Uh…”

“Public school lunches really are terrible,” Lauren said. “Sir,” she added a moment later.

President Bartlet’s attention shifted to Lauren. “Toby,” he said, and Charlie knew this was about to be good, “perhaps you should be setting a minimum age requirement when you’re hiring interns for the communications department. I’m not trying to tell you how to run your department or anything, but don’t you think maybe this one is a little too young?”

“She’s my cousin, sir. Lauren Shiba,” Sam said, before Toby could make some scathing remark in response to the president’s dry humor. “She’s staying with me for a few days.”

The president seemed to consider this for a long moment, then focused on Lauren. Charlie was impressed that she didn’t seem intimidated by the focused intensity that made foreign dignitaries shuffle in place in discomfort. “I take it you’re an expert on school lunches then, Ms. Shiba?”

“I don’t know about expert, sir, but I’ve had to eat them a few times. They’re disgusting, and worse than that, they’re nutritionally insufficient for children of any age. Unless you really expect anyone to believe that pizza sauce counts as a serving of vegetables,” Lauren said, just a hint of scorn evident in her tone.

Everyone held their breaths and waited for the president’s reaction as both his eyebrows shot up. Charlie hoped he wasn’t about to yell at this kid, impertinence or not. But then he started laughing, and everyone let out a sigh of relief. “On the other hand, Toby, maybe you _should_ consider giving her a job. Sam’s, maybe, since she seems more capable of giving a well-educated response when asked her opinion on school lunches.”

Sam cringed again, but took the scolding like a man who knew he’d earned it. But the scolding broke the rest of the tension in the room, and it was Leo who spoke next. “So do I need to find you all more work to be doing? Because that’s what it looks like to me.”

CJ was the first one out the door, with Josh and Donna hot on her heels. Toby wasn’t far behind either of them, and Charlie heard his door shut next door. Leo rolled his eyes even as he passed the president with a smirk, leaving Charlie, Sam, Lauren, and the president.

“Do try and think next time, Sam,” President Bartlet said. “I know that’s asking a lot from you, but I’ve got faith in you.”

And then the president left. Sam glanced towards Charlie. “Did you need something, Charlie?”

Charlie shrugged. “I was trying to warn you that the president was looking for you,” he said.

Sam groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Remind me next time to just take the kid with me, yeah?”

Charlie laughed, clapped Sam on the shoulder once, and headed back to his desk outside the Oval Office.


End file.
